I hope she felt like a real idiot.

While my sons are 25 (yes, sons…twins) I’m past dealing with much of this but I remember it well. Gratefully, they were blessed with some really good coaches during their time playing soccer, basketball, baseball, etc. who kept the team (and parents) in check.

It wasn’t until they started playing semi-pro/pro paintball a few years back that I saw the fangs come out. As I sat back and watched, it was obvious that it was a trickle-down theory…what the coach tolerated, the players (and parents) acted out.

The icing on the cake was when an opposing player came off after losing and started screaming at my mother and I…joined in by friends/family of the player…accusing my mother of “shadowing” which gave our team an unfair advantage. I let her rant and rave and when she had finally run out of steam, quietly informed her (and her coach and the small crowd that had gathered) that my mother had Alzheimers and not only didn’t know what the game was about but didn’t know where she was or, quite possibly, who her grandsons were.

I would have loved to have captured that moment on video…just to see her and her coach rendered speechless.

It’s amazing how some parents act like total freaks and revert back to grade school behavior on the sidelines. I’ve heard parents swearing at a coach because he didn’t play their kid on first string.

What’s equally heartening, though, are the many parents who are involved in and really enjoying watching their kids try different sports and have FUN, supporting and encouraging them.

Have you heard of this program called Responsible Sports? It’s a program sponsored by Liberty Mutual and they got the team at the Positive Coaching Alliance to put together a great set of tools and resources for youth sport coaches and parents. With downloadable worksheets too!

Check it out! http://www.responsiblesports.com

Mary Lindsey

From the time my son was three years of age until he finally hung up his cleats upon entering Rider University, our family, or some part of it, was on a field or in a gym two or three evenings a week and at least one day every weekend.

There was a period of two seasons somewhere in the middle when I had three daughters playing travel softball, and every weekend was spent on a softball field somewhere in the MidAtlantic states, leaving their older brother with the choice to either watch eight hours of girl’s softball, or be left stranded at home until either my wife or I showed up.

Yes, it was quite an expense as well, but not just financially.

Perhaps it was all in the way my ex-wife and I chose to handle the balancing act, but the truth is there was no balance.

In the end our son felt cheated by virtue of the sheer amount of time we invested in his sisters’ pursuit of softball while our daughters each have differing opinions regarding the value of their own athletic experiences, not just in softball, but in basketball, swimming and soccer - all of which each of my kids played at highly competitive levels at one time or another.

Over our many years of involvement, youth athletics was a frequent source of conflict in our family. Differing philosophical points of view, interpretation of circumstances and styles of management often led to disagreements resulting in negative feelings which, in my opinion, bordered on outweighing the obvious benefits of youth sports.

Looking back on it now, I’d probably crank it back a few notches if I had to do it all over again.

I think the benefits of youth athletics are available at a lower level of competition, and without the intense pressure to specialize by the age of 12, I firmly believe my kids would have had a lot more fun along the way playing in a more relaxed environment.